Why I refuse to stop gaming

“You’re going to have to stop playing video games.”

“Well, I  guess that’s the end of your gaming hobby.”

“You guys aren’t going to have time to play your games.”

It started when we learned of our incredible life change, pregnancy. As the pregnancy was coming to a close, it got worse. It seemed as if every time we stepped out of the house, someone would comment about how our gaming will somehow cease to exist because of this impending arrival. No more gaming…. What?

Asking me to drop gaming is the equivalent of asking me to stop eating Korean food, or better yet. Stop being Korean. Sure it’s only part of who I am, but if it was gone, there would still be a part of me missing. Why would I want to do that?

Gaming has been a significant part of my being. I’ve been doing it since I was 5. My childhood is Mario and Sonic, (and those damn pigs in Rocket Knight Adventures) My preteen years and teen angst years are Playstation. Halo was college. Halo 2 and FFXI were the beginning of Ezrah and I’s relationship. Our love grew over headshots and Maat fights. Final Fantasy XIV will be a new era for Final Fantasy MMOs along with the pregnancy and birth of our child. See gaming is more than just a hobby. I have been on countless adventures. Why would I give any of this up?

Have you ever heard someone say, “Oh well, now that you have a new arrival coming, you’re going to have to give up your favorite television shows!”

Neither have I.

There are so many ways your life changes when you become a parent. Why should your favorite hobbies, your core of who you truly are as a person, be different? Why should they change? Entering the world of parenthood doesn’t mean you have to shed your former self and jump into a new person. Mom is not something I became. I simply added Mom to my resume. I am still me. I still game. Ni No Kuni was my maternity leave. I plan on gaming with my son. I cannot wait for the many adventures that we will have together.

Don’t misunderstand me. I have changed. A lot. Life is about experiences. We need to take those experiences, learn from them, and grow.  There are things I find myself doing that I never thought would ever enter my mind. Apologizing to my mom, for one. I don’t smoke. I have wicked mom anxiety. We do laundry every week, clean the house almost everyday. I budget my money. I care about the things I never even questioned before. The amount of time I play each day has changed dramatically, and I can’t go buy any game I want, but I still game.

It is important to take time out to be yourself. The {insert adult mature task you “need” to do} can wait.

Yes those things are important. Yes , focusing on your child is important.

YOU are important.

 

 

 

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. hatsumi
    Nov 13, 2013 @ 18:03:48

    With the exception of playing with a Magnavox Odyssey 2 in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s when I was really young (5-7ish?) and learning to program Basic on a Commodore 64 when I was in the 3rd grade, I didn’t game. At all. “Girls didn’t play games.” And I was rarely around them, so I didn’t know what I was missing.

    When I was pregnant, my (now ex-)husband really wanted a Super Nintendo. (It was 1991.) I adamantly refused. He bought one, anyway, but gave it to me as a gift so that I would have “something to do while I was pregnant at home.” I was pretty pissed at him for spending that much money. We were living on one income at the time. It came with Super Mario World. I begrudgingly played with the stupid thing and I completely FELL IN LOVE. I was hooked! LOL

    So if it wasn’t for being pregnant, I would probably never have gotten into games the way I did. 🙂

    My son will be 20 in January, but the fact that I became a gamer and continued to be a gamer throughout his life definitely added to our relationship. I’m pretty confident that it’s because we game together, I never really had that experience of my-kid-doesn’t-want-to-hang-out-with-his-Mommy-anymore thing that happens so often during adolescence. He liked inviting friends over because they all thought he had the coolest mom, etc.

    I will never give up gaming. My husband feels the same way. We are sometimes told that we should have grown out of it by now or something. I usually counter with something like, “Well, why haven’t you grown out of watching reality TV, then?” Works like a charm. 🙂

    Reply

  2. rinoa127
    Nov 13, 2013 @ 18:14:04

    I always use the television comparison! Thank you so much for sharing your story and for the read!^^
    P.S. congratulations on getting all your DoHs up. That is my least favorite part and takes dedication!

    Reply

  3. MissRhiosace
    Nov 13, 2013 @ 18:29:56

    I had the same thing. I love how everyone tells you that you wont have time for stuff when you have a baby, and how you’ll be run off your feet struggling to cope. I also love how they think a child doesn’t sleep a full nights sleep until they are 18.
    In the beginning, I believed these fools. I was a single mum, I worked hard to cope alone. I had very little family support, and I dedicated 24/7 to being a good mum because apparently you have to be a mum and nothing else, well you’re allowed to be a baker and cleaner as well, but nothing fun like gaming or going out with your friends.

    When my daughter turned 2 and started sleeping regularly and for longer periods, (she slept 13-15 hours and still does now that she’s 8) I started to get bored when she was asleep. Still alone, and since I turned about 24 I was disinterested in going out for nights out. I bought an xbox and started gaming again instead, and I’ve been gaming a lot ever since. It’s not just gaming though, it’s a social experience, and you do need time for you because it makes you a better mum. Also, I don’t want to live through my child, which I think is highly tempting if you spend 24/7 being an intense mother.

    When you get pregnant everyone decides to share their wisdom on what apparently makes you a good mum. It gets even worse when they start school with the elitist parents at the school gates, “My kid can do x”, “I would never feed my kid x that’s just bad parenting”. I love my daughter and I’m severely proud of her. She doesn’t have to jump through hoops for me to love her. Now, she joins in with gaming, and we build stuff together in Minecraft, but without that me time when she was in bed, I would just be lonely, or watching tv anyway, so how is that any different to gaming?

    Reply

    • rinoa127
      Nov 14, 2013 @ 14:56:48

      Thank you! it’s funny how sometimes people’s “advice”, while with the best of intentions, can sometimes not fit to your particular situation. Kudos to you on being a single mom! I cannot imagine doing this alone. I completely admire your strength! I am also so afraid of school and.. dun dun dun… other parents…..

      Reply

  4. thedadgentlemangeek
    Nov 13, 2013 @ 22:00:28

    Having a child undoubtedly shifts your priorities but it’s the same for every aspect of your life after they’re born. As long as you can find time for the hobbies you enjoy it shouldn’t be a problem. People will always judge elder gamers as it’s still seen by the general public as a child’s pasttime. When our kids arrived I still found time to game but only after I set myself boundaries such as only playing once they were asleep. In a way it made me value the game time more and not take it for granted. Now Jr is five, we play Lego Batman together and I love it!

    Reply

  5. johnheatz
    Nov 14, 2013 @ 04:02:34

    I don’t have any kids…I mean, most people think I’m a kid still! (when they get to know my age, when they don’t they think I’m like…really old!) and at this pace I don’t think I’ll ever have my own kids, but if I do…they’ll be gamers, and I’ll get them to that path! Just because I can… :p

    Reply

    • rinoa127
      Nov 14, 2013 @ 12:25:05

      You never know! I never thought we would have kids either. It just wasn’t on my list of priorities. Obviously, life had other plans! Thankfully we were about as ready as we will ever be. Thank you for the read! I’m so excited for the next generation of gamers!

      Reply

  6. hatsumi
    Nov 14, 2013 @ 17:41:49

    My totally non-gamer sister is currently pregnant with her first child and I’m really looking forward to being that cool auntie that has all the video games. I will turn my niece/nephew into a gamer whether my sister likes it or not! *evil laugh* 😉

    Reply

  7. drakulus23
    Nov 22, 2013 @ 20:06:08

    I have 3 kids. My wife and I run drakulus.com together and game together every single day. When I met my wife I was a single man and she was a single mother. I’ve only been a father for two and a half years and i’m about to have a five year old next year. I’m the only father she’s ever known and she calls me daddy. I’ve known her since she was two years old and I love her. She’s my daughter. I also have a newborn son, and one year old daughter and I still find time to run my blog, play games, and be a dad at the same time.
    I’ve been gaming since I was only 1 years old and that’s never going to change. My daughters like the Wii. They play Donkey Kong all the time and I play with them. It’s fun and in a way brings us closer together. Don’t change your hobbies just because people tell you to. Just work your hobbies around your new schedule and you’ll be fine. I mostly game when my kids are taking a nap or late at night when everyone is asleep.

    Reply

  8. The Night Owl
    Nov 25, 2013 @ 23:07:16

    I’ve got a four year old now and until he gets a little older the closest he gets to gaming is Kinect Party / Happy Action Theatre which he adores. I can see him almost being ready for a controller and even have an old Atari to teach him the basics as he is curious about what Daddy used to play. 🙂

    But I’ve always been a late night gamer and try to get some time in on the weekend and relax. Nowadays that’s weighed up against my son waking up at the crack of dawn wanting breakfast and cartoons but I seem to be doing well.

    Reply

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